aesop's bat (autophanous) wrote in isshin_got_hos,
aesop's bat
autophanous
isshin_got_hos

GIN DON'T GET ANY
a timeless tragedy
by William "Your Momma" Shakespeare


THE PLAYERS

GIN, a sexual pariah and baby-eater
AIZEN, a gentleman and owner of bitches
HANATAROU, an unwitting poker prize and social commentary
RANGIKU, a suspected harlot



ACT I


SCENE I


[Enter Gin stage right.

GIN
Wouldst thou engage in pornographic acts with I?

RANGIKU
No.

[Exeunt Rangiku stage left

GIN
Woe!

END SCENE



SCENE II

[Enter Gin from stage right

AIZEN
Ho, Gin! How goest the pursuit of buttsecks?

GIN
Alas, for it is fruitless.

AIZEN
'Tis a pity! Though some obtain melons, others are left with withered figs.

GIN
Your banter is unnecessary, brother. I bite my thumb at you!

AIZEN
Right, ho! We shall fight to the death.

GIN
Woe is he who dies a virgin!
For I, never knowing the pleasures
of a woman; my blood shall seep into the dark earth:
no female shall cry for me.

Oh, for the day that a maiden
should shed a crystalline tear
for the plight of such as myself. And lo,
I would content myself then.

AIZEN
Thursday at nine, then.

GIN
Alas!

END SCENE


TBC
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