a timeless tragedy
by William "Your Momma" Shakespeare
GIN, a sexual pariah and baby-eater
AIZEN, a gentleman and owner of bitches
HANATAROU, an unwitting poker prize and social commentary
RANGIKU, a suspected harlot
[Enter Gin stage right.
Wouldst thou engage in pornographic acts with I?
[Exeunt Rangiku stage left
[Enter Gin from stage right
Ho, Gin! How goest the pursuit of buttsecks?
Alas, for it is fruitless.
'Tis a pity! Though some obtain melons, others are left with withered figs.
Your banter is unnecessary, brother. I bite my thumb at you!
Right, ho! We shall fight to the death.
Woe is he who dies a virgin!
For I, never knowing the pleasures
of a woman; my blood shall seep into the dark earth:
no female shall cry for me.
Oh, for the day that a maiden
should shed a crystalline tear
for the plight of such as myself. And lo,
I would content myself then.
Thursday at nine, then.